I can summon a storm of weird hybrid chickenducks
my doodles come to life? I dunno xD
I GO FAST.
ALL THE TIME
I SUMMON FANDOMS. MANY FANDOMS.
I BRE̴̶̸̡͎͎̻̹̺͓̮͉͔̺ͬ̌̑̐͋͞Aͩ̅̈̊̐͊ͪ̏͆̚͏̸̡̙͚͖̭̞̤̼̥̙͙͕̺̟̼͉͍̟̣́K͕̯̝͔̣͎̰̜̘͍̝̪̫̣̖̩̱̞͊͂̔̔̅͑ͣ̽͐͐̉͘͢͟͝͡ͅ ̈́ͣ̐̒̄͏̷̧͚̜̱̺̘̰͈̺̫̘̪̮̬̹͝͠R̢͉̩͇̩̜̺̙̭̞̘͔͊ͪͮ͑ͩ̆̾͒̈ͣ̌E̡̪̙̣̟͕̮͕͍̙̠͉͈͉͓͖̬͖͒̏̓̏ͬ͗ͯ̔ͯ̄̋͂͘͢͠Ą̡͎͎͎̲̽͑͋̽ͮ͗ͭ̉̈́̀͡͠ͅL̸̩̺̭͎̲͍̭̝̗͎̫͓̻̗̦̼̳̙̉ͧ͛ͯ̽̏̽̐̄́͝͞I͌̓́̈ͣͪ̀̔ͨͣͦͬ̉̑͟͠͏̗͙̩̦̻̳̟̞͙̼̭̻̭̝̬͕̯̖̦T̷̛̤̪̲̺͛ͪ̀̀͗̎̓ͯͫ̾͑̊ͪ̿̽͌͋̕Ÿ̗̦̠̰̞̲̥̤̹͔̭͈́͂̓̒͊̇̏͊ͣͨ͋ͥ̀́̕͠͝
HARK MERE MORTALS FOR THE TIME OF JOLLY HAS COME
i can transform into both byakuya togama and barack obama at any given time omfg
i have two harmonised infinite improbability drives in my ass cheeks and they help me do anything and everything
I’m a writer that one day discovered strange voodoo magics that make my writing take form and substance. also i guess i rush into things that would be foolhardy to rush into.
I am the seed of chaos. I make…things…happen.
Conveniently I am the master of Chaos
Tips from Windows95
When you abandoned Windows95 so many long years ago to the harsh elements of the basement or your nana’s house, something within it twisted. It was once your trusted companion, always offering helpful advice on how to better utilize its dazzling features, but now it wants something back: your soul. You can get your own free and possibly unholy hints at the tumblr: Windows95tips.
Anyone else have a class or professor that makes you wanna…
Anonymous asked: No one has ever been bullied for being cis or white or straight its always because they said something ignorant or stupid stop making up some dumb fictional situation
just because you havent seen it doesnt mean it doesnt fucking happen.
ive had people tell me that they dont think theyre allowed to be depressed because theyre privileged. they have seriously been told to “shut the fuck up and stop pretending to be depressed” because they’re white cis and straight.
it isnt common, but it sure as hell fucking happens.
bullying is shit either way. that’s why i made that goddamn post.
i dont care if the victim is black, white, straight, gay, trans, cis, or otherwise.
UNLESS THEY HAVE PERSONALLY, INDIVIDUALLY DONE SOMETHING BAD TO YOU, TREAT THEM WITH FUCKING RESPECT.
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Reblogging because there are some sassy little shits out there.
Sobbing. oh my god.